Cosmo Kramer – “… But I don’t even really work here!”
[Day, interior of Brand/Leland, KRAMER’s in LELAND’s office. LELAND’s a greying man.]
KRAMER
What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland?
LELAND
Kramer, I’ve.. been reviewing your work.. Quite frankly, it stinks.
KRAMER
Well, I ah.. been havin’ trouble at home and uh.. I mean, ah, you know, I’ll work harder, nights, weekends, whatever it takes..
LELAND
No, no, I don’t think that’s going to, do it, uh. These reports you handed in. It’s almost as if you have no business training at all..
I don’t know what this is supposed to be!
KRAMER
Well, I’m uh, just–tryin’ to get ahead..
LELAND
Well, I’m sorry. There’s just no way that we could keep you on.
KRAMER
I don’t even really work here!
LELAND
That’s what makes this so difficult.
Who is Kramer?
Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards) is the neighbor whose entrances arrive before he does. Schemer, dabbler, co-inventor of the Bro. His first name stayed a secret for six seasons until George pried it out of his mother — even Jerry didn’t know. Based on Kenny Kramer, Larry David’s real-life neighbor, who hadn’t yet signed off when the pilot shot — so in “The Seinfeld Chronicles,” he’s “Kessler.”
